This Creature is Lore

This speaks to me. :)

I found it in a Huffpost article which was titled something like "rum-guzzling, knife-wielding monkey."  Sadly, I see no sign of rum.

*boring philosophical discussion*
*someone gets eviscerated*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*someone becomes/dissects/kills/discusses an animal*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*people get really drunk*
*someone gets flayed*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*someone experiences unimaginable mental and/or physical anguish*
*awkward interaction that even the author doesn't know whether it's UST or just awkwardness*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*aggressive geophysics and/or natural landscapes*
*someone gets immolated*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*damned if you know what anyone looks like even now, except their eyes which you will know entirely too much about*
*people get really drunk*
*pretension of variable nature*
*someone gets horrifically mutilated*
*boring philosophical discussion*
*everyone is dead or wishes they were*

Although satirical, this is not altogether inaccurate, especially if one has access to a broad sample including WIPs.