This Creature is Lore

Disclaimer: I possess neither familiarity nor comprehension of Reddit.  I came into contact with this through Tumblr (which I possessed neither familiarity nor comprehension of a year ago).

So apparently first, some righteously offended male posted this on...some feminist space or other, judging by the context.

Then a goodly number of people responded to the call for a dramatic reading of it.  Reading 1 came to my attention because apparently some people honest-to-god thought it might be Christopher Lee?  It's definitely not, although it's quite hilarious (I pretty much lost my sh**t toward the end when he declaimed about how much he can bench...which BTW, if this poster's description of himself is supposed to be the standard of male attractiveness to women, I fail at womanhood as per norm because the poster's description of himself made me go "ew!").  But they're all pretty funny.

Note Edit 3, which evidently occurred after the dramatic readings, and in which the OP tries desperately to redeem himself through bewilderedly humble words. Normally I refrain from insulting people, but since the OP has made it so easy: This guy is a sh**head, coming into spaces he had no business being in, belittling and insulting people/causes he obviously doesn't possess the faintest comprehension of, and then transparently coming back later and trying to act like he's the victim.  Need another tissue, dude?  Oh, I'm sorry, you'd probably only accept it if a "9 or 10" was handing it to you with appropriate reverence.

- I have $2.00 in library fees.  D=  I've never had a library fee before.  I reserved some items, evidently failed to pick them up within the allotted ten days, and each accrued a 1.00 reshelving charge.  Time flies, I thought I still had a couple days left to retrieve them.

- I'm outside with the laptop (yes, I'm really getting a kick out of having a laptop with a like 6-hour battery charge for the first time in my life) and the aroma of burning plastic periodically arrives upon the gentle breeze. 

- Laptop/cafe culture: if you have a laptop, you automatically qualify as trustworthy to keep an eye on another patron's laptop whilst they disappear for a few minutes to make a purchase or use the restroom.  I guess the (actually pretty reasonable) assumption is that 1.) you have your own laptop, so why steal someone else's and 2.) empathy exists: I wouldn't want mine stolen, so why would I steal or let someone steal yours?
Someone could set up a pretty nice racket based upon this social more though.  "Well, I asked that guy with the wide-brimmed hat and fake mustache to watch it, and when I came back he was gone, along with both the laptops."  "Funny, same thing happened yesterday to someone else, with the guy with the toupée and no mustache."