Humorfic -- Dwarf Lineup: or, Thorin Oakenshield is not amused

So I was looking at this nifty picture of all the Dwarves (minus Thorin) from the upcoming Hobbit films, and I found that instead of washing the dishes I had written humorfic.

Disclaimer stuff: I don't make money off of Tolkien's characters, nor off of New Line Cinema's character designs.  This was written purely for the wasting of time.
Rating: PGish.
FYI: Great big wide image included under cut.  It's just not the same without it.  If it's not loading or truncated, the image in question is here.

( "By Mahal’s impressive hammer, it’s worse than I thought." )