Desilmarilliant

[huinare]

[cracked-out thing I posted elsewhere, for posterity]

Dear Carcharoth,

Suffering from indigestion? heartbearn? maybe a pesky case of internal hemorrhaging? Try Dr. Darkness' Desilmarilliant. Alleviates all symptoms related to accidental or intentional silmaril ingestion.

To receive your first bottle, please enclose twenty gold coins and a milligram of mithril in the envelope provided and post it at once. Hurry! Supply is limited, and silmarilli are known to corrode all internal organs within eight months.

Your humble friend,
Dr. Darkness
At Dr. Darkness, Inc., we care about you and our money