Kvetchdom Upon the River Impoverished

[huinare]

The financial situation in the past week has gone from ghetto to terrifying. The choices were to go into debt while I'm still a student and someone will thus actually give me loans, or to yet again jettison most of my possessions and couch surf. For the first time in my existence, I went with the former, being sick of the latter. New tack. Now I'm just terrified that the loan request won't go through, or that I'll need to get an unsubsidised one as well, or that other stuff will generally fail me.

On the plus side. I have been having trouble motivating myself to lose the weight I gained two years ago after being expelled from Tol-in-Gaurhoth and deciding chocolate and lattes were the only recourse. The solution is now quick and easy, per necessity. Even after the max Pell grant (they decided I didn't need the FSEOG this year) and max subsidised loan, I will probably come up short on the rent & bills forecast. No room in that budget for food.

I will have to get creative. Or a job, but I live in one of the most economically depressed areas in the US, and one of the reasons I enrolled in school to begin with was that I couldn't find a job when looking for one -was- my full-time job. How I can find one when I'm in school FT trying to knock my 3.9 back up to 4.0, tutoring, on several committees, in a leadership training thingy, and other crap? How is there even time for one? I know some people do it, but I don't understand how. I have chronic anxiety and depression issues, though these have improved by leaps and bounds over the past couple years, my CV is bile due to the constant geographical relocation I used to do and the anxiety keeping me from working for periods. And, as I have the energy level of a fermenting kumquat, the busy schedule I've donned of late already makes me want to sleep and/or lay in bed thinking all the time.